Dancing with the Stars relives the good ol' days with the best years of the celebrities' lives. Turns out, almost all of them experienced lifetime highs in the past four years. What are the chances?! Plus: Did Lisa dance after fainting in rehearsals?
Where in the world is Lisa Vanderpump? Gleb walks down the Staircase of Death by himself. Lisa fainted in rehearsals on Thursday, and Tom announces that she sat out today's rehearsal on the advice of her doctor. She will make a game-time decision later whether to dance or not, which means she's going last. This show. Never passes up a chance to milk an injury! (She'll totally dance. You know it.)
Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd: Viennese waltz
Sean's best year was 2012 because that's when he became famous! Er, when he met Catherine. He wants to incorporate her into the routine, so Peta plans his solo around her. But how are you ever going to find her through the smoke machine, Sean?! This is easily his best dance so far. He's actually smooth in parts and doesn't look totally awkward throughout. Look what true love does! It makes you dance better! The solo is haphazardly tacked on the end, though, and he rushes through it to get to Catherine, who hasn't mastered the art of the fake cry yet. Len calls it a "pretty good effort." Bruno tells him to sustain his fluidity. Carrie Ann calls them out on two lifts.
Victor Ortiz and Lindsay Arnold: paso doble
Victor chose "We Will Rock You" as his song because that was his intro song when he won the WBC Welterweight Championship in 2011, and he thinks about the fight whenever he hears it. Funny, I think about The Mighty Ducks whenever I hear it. This is such a perfect dance, not to mention theme, for Victor and... it's underwhelming. Maybe he's reliving his win too much, but this is tragically wooden and stomp-y. The power and intensity are there, but there's no shape to any of his lines or footwork. Bruno says he attacked too much. Carrie Ann wants him to work on his arms and gives this round to the paso. Len admires his fight. No pun intended.
Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: foxtrot
Jacoby's best year was 2012, not just because of the Ravens' Super Bowl-winning season, but because his son, Jacoby Jr., was born. He didn't have a dad growing up and is dedicating this to his son, who has the most pinch-able cheeks ever! This is fast for a foxtrot, but it works and Jacoby doesn't miss a beat. He's graceful and the whole thing is just infectiously joyful, especially his literally high-kicking solo in front of his son, who's decked out in his white suit and pink tie. Jacoby Jr. >>> Giggy. Carrie Ann calls it phenomenal, but wants him to watch his butt. Len gives him a "well done." "You were foxtrotting at full throttle," Bruno says.
Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas: contemporary
Aly's best year was 2012 because of the Olympics, obviously. They're dancing to David Guetta and Sia's "Titanium," which is what she listened to every day in training and in London. Like Victor and the paso, this is a great dance for Aly, and unlike him, she kills it. It's gorgeous, detailed, intense, emotional and has just the right amount of athleticism. Color me shocked that Mark didn't overload it with a bunch of lifts or exploit her gymnastics skills. She does a full run of cartwheels at the end, but it's fitting with the story of Olympic glory. I'm a poet and I know it. Gabby and Kyla are in the house! Len says it was worthy of an Olympic champion. Bruno says she's going for gold. Carrie Ann is "very proud" of her and was "mesmerized" by her. Mission accomplished: Carrie Ann is impressed! They get a 27, the highest score of the season so far.
Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess: Viennese waltz
Andy picks 2013 because of his sobriety, and he wants to share it with his daughter Meg, who's 15. "My kids have had it hard because of me," he says bluntly. "She used to dance for me. ... Now I want to dance for her at 47." They're dancing to "Hallelujah," a favorite of his and Meg's. This is just absolutely beautiful and heartfelt. Ballroom is definitely Andy's cup of tea. He's still a limited dancer, but he's fluid, and Sharna, thankfully, had the foresight not to embellish this with anything fancy. Is she or is she not the best of the rookie pros? Bruno loves the simplicity. Carrie Ann is crying and gives Andy a hug. Len feigns tears. "You came on this show a man. Whatever happens, you'll go out a hero," he says.
Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: samba
Zendaya's best year was 2009 — the furthest we've gone back yet, and ironically with the 16-year-old. That was the year she had her first Disney audition. She's dancing to Beyonce's "Love on Top" because she basically wants to be her, she says in as so many words. OK, long-legged people should not wear high-waisted pants. Zendaya looks like a sparkly Gumby. Costuming aside, she rocks it. It's sassy and funky, but there's not a lot of samba rolls or bounce. Carrie Ann calls her "baby Beyonce." Len wants more samba in the solo. Bruno calls her fearless.
Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: Viennese waltz
Ingo picks 2009 because that's when he married his wife Ehiku. Oh, hey there, more adorable kiddies. "I'll give you a 3," his son Peanut tells him. Look, D.L.! You won't have the lowest score now! Ingo needs a big-time performance and he somewhat delivers. This is romantic and sweet, and his frame and footwork are better, but he's still not polished. They also flub a spin at the end after he steps on Kym's dress. Len likes it, but points out some "incidents" with his arms. Bruno loves his control. Carrie Ann praises his work on his core. "I did 5-Minute Abs," Ingo quips.
D.L. Hughley and Cheryl Burke: foxtrot
D.L.'s best year was eighth and ninth grade, so circa 1978-79. Stop the presses! Someone can remember further back than four years! He chose his adolescence because it was a simpler time. "Nothing says Compton like the foxtrot," he deadpans. Cheryl wants this dance to say "f--- you" to the judges "in a nice way." And it does. He motions them to kiss his ass, humps the judges' table and crawls on all fours. It's ridiculous, but it works. His footwork and posture aren't all that bad either, but most importantly, he finally looks like he's enjoying himself out there. Guess that means more "f--- you" routines. Bruno's giving him an extra point for the ass-kissing move. Carrie Ann is giddy. Len won't kiss his bum, but loves the content. They get a 21 and D.L.'s shocked. "That's higher than my SAT score," he says.
Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: rumba
Kellie's best year was 2011, which is when she eloped with her husband Kyle. As Derek mentioned in his blog, Kyle will perform the song he wrote for their wedding, "Say I Do," while they dance. It's a lovely, radiant routine, and Kellie's shapes and extensions are outrageous. But there's something a little off about it, and I expected more from her solo besides walking straight to her husband. Carrie Ann says her movement was a little clipped. Len agrees, but loves her dancing to her hubby. Bruno calls it beautiful.
Lisa Vanderpump and Gleb Savchenko: cha-cha
Lisa's dancing and now we don't have to feel guilty about watching her faint. Her best year was when her daughter got married in 2011. She traveled to New York last week and fainted in rehearsals when she got back. Her doctor says she's pushing herself too hard. (Side note: Who goes to the hospital in just a leotard?) This is a sorry cha-cha. Maybe it could've been something had she not fainted, but Lisa's not natural or confident enough of a dancer to pull off an under-rehearsed routine. There are some nice parts, but she's too tentative and her solo is like your crazy aunt trying to walk after a few too many Bartles & Jaymes. Len says she did well for what she's been through. Bruno agrees and hopes she gets herself together. Carrie Ann thinks there's a lot of potential, but docks them for a lift.
So Aly and Mark top the leader board for the first time with a 27, and Victor and Lindsay, and Lisa and Gleb are last with an 18.
What do you think? Were Aly and Mark the best of the night? Does D.L. need a revengenda to dance well? Is he the only one with long-term memory? Should Lisa have danced? Is Zendaya Baby Beyonce? Who's cuter: Jacoby Jr. or Peanut? (I know, it's like Sophie's Choice.) Who do you think is leaving tomorrow?
View original Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, April 8, 2013 at TVGuide.com
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